Lindsey Graham’s funeral was today, and as I watch all the worst people in the world express their grief at the loss of their dear darling friend, I find myself awash with gratitude that this particular warmonger lived a shorter life than such creatures often do. Some psychopathic murderers never stop killing until they are imprisoned or dead. Since American war criminals never go to prison, it is a fortunate thing that Graham kicked the bucket when he did. Filmmaker Alex Holder has shared video footage from an unreleased documentary he’d been working on in which the late South Carolina senator is seen gushing orgasmically at Trump’s February announcement of the US-Israeli war on Iran. “Look what we’ve done here. I almost cried. How long have we been pushing this?” Graham says with joyous laughter while the president’s announcement plays on the television, adding, “There are a lot of people inside who didn’t want to do it, so I had my challenges.” “I talked to Trump this morning, he’s jacked, he said, ‘best thing I have ever done.’ He loves blowing stuff up,” Graham said triumphantly. Holder also released footage of Graham speaking with Joe Biden’s former national security advisor Jake Sullivan back in March, assuring him that the Iranian government was going to start losing control of the country in “three to four weeks”. So we know he lived long enough to see himself proven wrong, just as all US warmongers eventually are. Meanwhile The New York Times has a new report out citing Holder’s footage detailing how Graham colluded with Benjamin Netanyahu to assemble a bipartisan group of US lawmakers to denounce the International Criminal Court’s investigation into the Israeli prime minister’s mass atrocities in Gaza. Graham’s ability to pull strings in Washington is placed on full display as we see how the senator skillfully moves everyone into place, joking with Netanyahu that “I should get tons of shekels” for all the moves he was pulling off to protect the prime minister. At his funeral on Tuesday, Graham’s favorite president Donald Trump was seen dozing through the proceedings before getting up to eulogize the deceased lawmaker with the words “He was extremely hawkish; I will tell you, he never saw a war that he didn’t like.” Hilariously, Fox News war propagandist Sean Hannity followed the president’s comments saying “Lindsey, he was often unfairly characterized as a warmonger; I’ve heard that false criticism a lot.”
To be clear, in the months leading up to his unexpected demise, Lindsey Graham had advocated for direct US military interventionism in Iran, Cuba, Venezuela, Yemen, Nigeria, Lebanon, and Palestine. He died shortly after celebrating his 71st birthday at a Ukrainian drone factory. If Lindsey Graham was not a warmonger, then nobody has ever been a warmonger. Lindsey Graham was not only a warmonger, he was the warmonger’s warmonger. He was easily the single most bloodthirsty psychopath on Capitol Hill, and I am exceedingly glad that he is dead. There will be other omnicidal war sluts to take his place, to be sure. But at least this particular monster cannot hurt anybody anymore. © 2026 Caitlin Johnstone |